Domestic Abuse

Parenting workshops give mum with history of domestic violence the confidence to set boundaries for her son, improving his behaviour, and enabling him to spend more hours at school.

Starting point and evidence of need

Mum attended the parenting workshops at her local children’s centre. There is a history of mostly physical domestic abuse towards her and her oldest child who is aged 5. Her youngest child is 21 months old.

Mum and the children were placed in a women’s refuge for their safety and to remove them from the risk of violence. She needed support to put boundaries in place and limits to her eldest child’s behaviour. He was diagnosed with ADHD in December 2009 and is only attending school for half days due to his behaviour.

Work undertaken

The Common Assessment Framework (CAF) was reviewed and a Team Around the Child (TAC) meeting held to help with the support of the 5 year old especially at school.

The outreach worker worked on the following with Mum:

• The importance of spending time playing or in a child-led activity and how she can spread her time between the two children.
• Child development and how each child differs and develops at their own rate.
• Understanding that she was the role model to her children and they watched and copied how she was talking, acting and reacting to situations.
• Realising that the 5 year old’s past life experiences will affect how he views others and how he behaves towards those in authority.
• The use of positive praise and how to praise without words.
• How to manage certain behaviours that are socially unacceptable. 

Outcome

The school is now allowing the 5 year old to attend nearly a full day and have applied for a statement, which will support his education. They are also dealing with him in a more appropriate manner.

Mum feels more confident in coping with unwanted behaviour and putting boundaries in place. She is able to meet both the 5 year old’s emotional and physical needs in a calmer way.

Mum is building up her friendship and support network and making the time she spends with her eldest child purposeful and effective.

The 5 year old is more in control of his behaviour and happier in himself. He also understands who is in charge at home and the consequences to his behaviour.

Why was it successful?

Mum was able to reflect about her past experiences in a confidential atmosphere. She found support from the other attendees, some of whom were also victims of domestic abuse.
She is more understanding of how her behaviour affects the children and how they behave towards her.
Mum is using the positive strategies discussed in the group. She is realising that she would benefit from further parenting support.

Next Steps

Mum has put her name forward for the next Incredible Years group (12 weeks) starting January 2011.