Mum Gains Confidence

Starting point and evidence of need

A mum of five children attended a singing group run by an outside agency in the children’s centre. The children’s centre staff were asked by the facilitators of the group to speak to the parent about her two year old son’s “disruptive” behaviour.  When the staff entered the hall the mum appeared distressed and tearful; her son was running around during the singing session, fiddling with the music system and pushing any child who was in his way. 

The outreach worker approached the mum, who explained she was upset by her son’s behaviour within the group and the reactions of the people around her.  It was suggested that the outreach worker visit the parent at home due to the lack of a suitable private area.  The parent agreed and a visit was arranged.

At the visit the mum said she was new to the area and had attended this group for her son to play with other children, and she had met another parent who suggested they attend together.  The mum explained she had been feeling low and the anxiety and embarrassment of her son’s behaviour had made her reluctant to take him out.

Work undertaken

During the home visit the outreach worker asked what the child’s interests were and enquired about his behaviour at home. His mother explained he enjoyed trains and cars and commented on his short attention span. It was suggested the child would perhaps prefer a group where he could move around and had the opportunity to choose which activity he wanted to do instead of participating in activities in which he must sit still and sing for long periods.  It was suggested the family attend Stay and Play.

Mum was given information about Health in Mind and Home-Start, and said she would read it.  Mum was also offered parenting and adult learning courses.  She appeared keen to attend a group where she could be “doing something for [her]self”.

Outcome

The mum and her son went to the Stay and Play session with a friend.  Her son enjoyed the freedom of being able to choose his own activity, and he was not the “disruptive” child he had been at the previous group.  The mum enjoyed meeting other parents and now attends regularly. After only a couple of weeks, she was impressed with how her son behaved at snack time, commenting “It’s so good to see him sitting with the others; he doesn’t do that at home”.

The mum contacted her GP and was prescribed a low dose of antidepressants, which she took and said she felt “better, if a bit numb”. She decided she did not need Home-Start or Health in Mind support.  Mum also began an 11 week literacy course run at the school in partnership with the children’s centre.  She attended all but one week when her son was ill and completed the exam.  She was a little concerned as to how her child would behave in the crèche, however he became familiar with the centre due to attending Stay and Play and settled well.  Mum became more confident and signed onto a parenting course which she attends with another parent she met at the literacy course.  She has also signed up for a Maths course, run at the Centre.

Regarding self esteem and feeling low, mum recognised she needed help. However, she is now feeling more positive and that she has good support around her and has taken herself off her medication. Her aim is to gain the qualifications necessary to work in a school as a Learning Assistant until her children are older, then possibly train as a midwife. She has also become a parent representative in a local focus group.

Why was it successful?

The parent and child were signposted to a group they both enjoyed. Mum became more positive and confident in her ability and her son’s sociability, and therefore happy to attend groups and meet new people. She began to focus on herself and her future, and attended an adult learning course which gave her a focus and a stronger sense of self worth and confidence. She commented “it’s good to be something other than Mum”.